The Recession Survival Kit

How to survive the current economic recession? Here are my tips:

1. Cut down transportation costs: In Macau, you can always use the ferry terminal and the barrier gate as transit points and take the free casino shuttle buses to any destination. It's absolute free.

2. Get all the perks from corporations: Large corporations often give out fantastic perks to lure your business. But you can always out-smart them. You can apply all the credit cards in Macau and get the department store coupons and gifts. As long as you don't miss your payment deadline, they won't be making any money off you. You can also use the casino cards to get free ferry tickets to Hong Kong. But remember, you don't have to gamble just because you have the card. Gamblers always loss.

3. Shop at last minute: Supermarkets often mark down bread, dairy products and other fresh food stuff a couple days before the expiry date. This is an excellent opportunity to shop. My friend working at the health department told me that the actual date for the food to turn bad is actually weeks after the expiry date. So that means you can eat perfectly safe food at much lower price.

4. Go green: When you're saving money, don't think as if you don't have any money to spend, think as if you're helping to save the environment. I'm not eating sirloin not because I'm poor, but because eating vegetables produces less carbon dioxide and is better for the environment. I'm not buying designer clothes not because my wallet is empty, but because I can help to reduce waste by wearing the old clothes.

5. Stay connected: Go to the library to read the newspapers and magazines, and community centers use the Internet. You can stay connected to the world without spending a penny.

6. Have a drink: Go to the a nearby casino for free coffee, tea and mineral water when you're thirsty. Don't buy the expensive bottled water at convenience stores.

7. Enjoy free entertainment: There are always free high quality performances at the Macau Art Festival, Macau Music festival, Macau Fringe Festival and other art performances and exhibitions sponsored by the government. You may have to queue up for a couple of hours to get the tickets. But it's free, and it's serious art. So it's definitely worth every minute of your time staying in the queue.

8. Public health care at it's best: Don't visit private physicians who may charge you a fortune. You can get free services at public clinics and hospital as long as you claim that you don't have any money to pay and your dying. This is the hidden secret: the doctors at public institutions won't take the risk of journalists waiting in front of their cars and ask them why some poor citizen of Macau were left dead in the cold. They have a budget set aside for people who won't pay. Now you know it. Use it well.

9. Be faithful and practice safe sex. Go back to your wife and girlfriend. Prostitutes costs too much. Definitely a no-no during the recession. Always use a condom, as kids cost lots of money. They are the major source of poverty in underdeveloped countries.

10. Live an affordable luxury lifestyle: You can't let your lifestyle and standard of living appear to have made any obvious changes. This will keep your cheered up and maintain a positive attitude for the rest of the recession. You can always wear a Zara instead of Armani when your income was down. Nobody would notice any difference from the outside. By the way, counterfeit Louis Vuitton is readily available just across the border.